It's Hammer Ti-- Um...I mean...it's Christmastime!
Some gunsel gets mad, there's foul play!
A honey goes bad--like, astray!
And >pant< is she stacked!
Then Santa gets whacked!
Oh, there's fun to be had Christmas Day!
Mike Hammer (Biff Elliot) and Captain Pat Chambers (Preston Foster) discuss who put the hit on Santa (Elisha Cook Jr.) in I, the Jury (1953). Based on the so hardboiled it's lurid novel novel by Mickey Spillane, this x-mas noir was shot by John Alton in 3-D. Merry Christmas, to all you wise guys and deadly dames. This is just one of many holiday film limericks that I've written for my blog, LimerWrecks.